Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness

Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.” — credited to Lily Tomlin 

One of the things that makes grieving a pet so difficult is the guilt. Should we have done something sooner? Did we wait too long? Could we have done anything more? What if we’d had more money, more time, better specialists?

I’ve heard it said that, when it comes to the end of our animal companions’ lives, we make the decision that gives us the least cause for regret. No regret usually isn’t an option.

Feeling guilt doesn’t change anything; it just makes us feel even worse. It’s the mind’s way of trying to be helpful by distracting us from emotions we really don’t want to feel—the rawness of grief and the pain of loss.

If your mind weren’t preoccupied with guilt, what would you have to feel? And how would you feel if you could know, with absolute certainty, that you did everything right?

Allow self-forgiveness. See what happens.

 

 

Photo credit: svklimkin on Visualhunt.com / CC BY-SA

How Grief Makes Us Gentle

How Grief Makes Us Gentle

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” — Leonard Cohen, based on Rumi 

Grief makes us gentle, because it opens out hearts and stops our minds, if only briefly. It shows us what’s really important in life (love) and renders everything else pretty much meaningless. The gift in this is that we can make the most of the time we do have, ourselves and with each other, of all species. This first hit me after my three closest (human) friends died in a two-year period, when I was in my early 20s, but I found it coming up again after Hedda died. There is no escape; the only way out is through…and in that process, there’s a transformation.

 

 

Photo by Lina White on Unsplash

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